Fuck Mary Poppins


A few weeks ago, I came home from the grocery store and immediately noticed that the umbrella was missing from the patio table. I looked around the backyard for several minutes, but it was nowhere to be found. As I was walking back into the house, I couldn't help but to notice an orange umbrella perched upon my roof. It's kinda strange because the weather wasn't stormy or blustery that day, but somehow, the umbrella was unanchored from the base and pulled up to the roof without the slightest bit of damage to the table. I'm guessing that it was either a gust of wind or just another glitch in the matrix. Nonetheless, I wrestled the ladder from the garage, made my way up to the roof, and lowered the rogue umbrella to safety.